A double-edged sword — that is what socialisation is to me. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. It feeds the cravings momentarily, but never satiates them, and does more harm than good. I see giving in to the hunger pangs as a lack of self-control, as my weakness. The cravings come and go; I relish the times when they lie dormant.
I live in isolation. Day after day, I’m in my cave, rarely venturing out. I don’t get stir-crazy; books and the Internet keep me entertained. I wish I could be content being a total recluse, but that’s not the way I’m wired. And, thus, the cycle continues.
I wonder why I still let myself communicate. It’s draining watching myself go round in loops. I should just stop talking altogether. I’d feel trapped, but I already feel trapped as it is.