Words

Words are difficult.
I cannot produce them eloquently.
I have so much inside me that I wish I could express.
It takes great effort and time to verbalise what I’d like to say.
It takes exceptional effort and extended lengths of time to carve out what I want to write.
And yet, it never comes out right.
It isn’t up to my standards.
It isn’t adequate.
It doesn’t accurately convey what I had in mind.
But I try.
Here, at least, where it’s safer.
It’s what’s keeping my sanity.
It’s the only thing.
Out in the world, there is none that I trust.
None I’m close to.
What little interaction I have only leaves me feeling emptier.
And more alone.
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3 thoughts on “Words

  1. You’re not alone! I have the EXACT same struggle. It drives me nearly to madness sometimes. I am slowly learning that the more open and vulnerable I allow myself to be, the freer I become. And there is One who can always be trusted, even though I still too often resist letting Him in. It is one of the hardest things for an introvert to do. And yet, I realize that the deeper I bury myself, the darker everything becomes. Just know I’m right there with you, and if no one else on earth cares, I do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It does get darker the deeper I sink, but I know I’m not alone. I would think that these are pretty common experiences. It’s the feeling of aloneness that grips me.

      Like

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